STAR WARS--THE MUSICAL
** Y.O.D.A (To the Village People's "Y.M.C.A") ** (As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker).
YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I
*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY* YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you
GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say *WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A You must be here to see Y.O.D.A. He's 900 years old! He's so strong in the Force! Do your Jedi Diploma course!
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A You must be here to see Y.O.D.A Come and get yourself clean! Come and have a good meal! Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!
YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got *SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM* YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He is COMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll be HAVIN' this bright thing that ain't hot. It is *MINE* *OR* *I'LL* *HELP* *YOU* *NOT*
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A You must be here to see
Y.O.D.A. He's 900 years old! He's so strong in the Force! Do your Jedi Diploma course!
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A You must be here to see
Y.O.D.A Don't just stand in the rain! You're all covered with
mud! come and sample my homemade crud!
OLD BEN, Are you listenin' to me? I can't TRAIN HIM, he's so reckless you see! Like his OLD MAN, he's so angry but brave! Betcha *HE* *SCREWS* *UP* *AT* *THE* *CAVE* YOUNG MAN, If you start will you end, or be GOING, off to save all your friends? To be TRAINING, needs commitment and work, if you *WIMP* *OUT* *THEN* *YOU'RE* *A* *JERK*
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A You gotta stay here with
Y.O.D.A You should stay here and train! You don't have to save
Han! If you do so, you'll lose your hand!
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A. (repeat and fade).
** Imperial Rhapsody by: Queen** (sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody)
LANDO: This is the good life This is a fantasy Working on Bespin An escape from Reality. LEIA: Open your eyes Stand up to these guys and see. LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy Cuz who's my dad, I dunno Little whine, little moan. HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me
PIETT: Vader just killed a man. Raised an arm up in the air Now his life is no longer there. Vader, we had just begun, And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum. Vader, ooooooo. Didn't mean to make you mad If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow, There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened.
YODA: Too late, my time has come, Sends shivers down my
spine Body's aching all the time. LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force. PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo. I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
LUKE: I see a little silhouetto of a man Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor? Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me! R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH! I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me. REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family. Spare him this life of such mendacity! HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go. JABBA: Bo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go) HAN: Let me go! JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go) HAN: Let me go! JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go) HAN: LET ME GO! JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO! HAN: LET ME GO! JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO! HAN: LET ME GO! JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along. LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel
put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging)
LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine? But you cut my
hand off and left me to die! Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader. I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you. Use the Force to see. May the Force be with you, May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
** THE MAX REBO BAND **(To Billy Joel's "The Pianoman")
It's nine o'clock down at Jabba's place the regular crowd waddles
in there's a weird thing sitting next to me it has three eyes and
mottled gray skin.
Fett says Max can you play me a memory I'm not really sure how it
goes but it's haunting and sweet and if you miss a beat this
carbine will blow off your nose.
He said sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band sing us a song
tonight 'cause we're all in the mood for a melody except Solo,
who's in carbonite.
La de de da, de de da La da de de da, da dum..
Now Jabba the Hutt is a friend of mine he gives me my life for
free And because he's a Hutt, why, we all kiss his butt or the
rancor will have us for tea.
He said "Bo Shuda, offom da Tukatti!" as he stuffed a frog into his
face but we don't know a woid, 'cause he shot the talkdroid So
we'll smile and nod, just in case.
Oh, La de de da, de de da La da de de da, da dum..
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band sing us a song tonight 'cause
we're all in the mood for a melody except Solo, who's in
carbonite.
Sy Snootles is our favorite vocalist her face it ain't launching no
ships. Don't know why it behoove her to go kiss a Hoover but that's
how she got those weird lips.
A Gammorean guard is headbutting bricks as another one gnaws on a
bone and I don't know which has less intelligence either those two
big thugs or the stone.
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band sing us a song tonight 'cause
we're all in the mood for a melody except Solo, who's in
carbonite.
Oh, la da da da de de dah la da de de da dah dum..
It's a pretty good crowd, here at Jabba's place it's a killing,
that's why we're all here we'll sail over the dune to the pit of
Carkoon and we'll toss someone in with a cheer.
'Cause we gotta new droid on the pedestal and a man in black's come
in the door he just pointed a gun over Salacious Crumb and then
promptly sank through the floor.
Oh, La de de da, de de da La da de de da, da dum..
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band sing us a song tonight for the
Jedi Skywalker is down below and the rancor is gripping him tight |